


Do We Really

by Rain_onGlass (orphan_account)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst you won't see coming, Dark Thoughts, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mute Kunimi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, be prepared
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-08
Updated: 2016-08-11
Packaged: 2018-07-26 20:38:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7589239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Rain_onGlass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>17. Quite a terrible age for this soulmate thing to click in. </p><p>On your 17th birthday, a fluttering of words will form on your body. It could be an inside joke, or most commonly, the first words your soulmate says to you.</p><p>17. When most people are in their last year of highschool, struggling with grades, and friends, college and anxiety. Far too busy to have to worry about all this twisted romance.</p><p>"Fuck this crap," thought Oikawa.</p><p> </p><p>Alternatively: Oikawa desperately wished Iwa-chan is his soulmate. But this much-too-vague soulmate cue along with their long-time friendship was definitely not helping.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've been thinking about where I'm going with this fic while I write. I just really wanted to take the soulmate au and show the darker side of this fate thing. 
> 
> This is my first published story on ao3 and I hope you enjoy it!

Why seventeen?

This was the single question that had been floating around in Oikawa Tooru's mind since the last year of middle school.

Such an inconvenient timing. Couldn't be worse, actually.

 

Especially when he woke up to those words on his left hand.

**_It's nice to meet you_ **

 

Honestly, it would take more than all the fingers on both his hands to count how many people have said that to him. New students, but mostly his fangirls, stuttering out those exact words.

 

But with college right around the corner, Oikawa wanted nothing more than proving that he and Iwaizumi are soulmates and that they could go into the same college.

...

Ok. Maybe that was a bit big for a simple wish.

 

* * *

 

July 20th, right before the summer break of third year begins, Oikawa woke up with a start.

 _It's my birthday,_ he thought.

 

After frantically feeling his back and looking at the mirror, and checking even the underside of his feet, he found nothing.

It was only when he raised his hand to rub his bleary eyes, did he notice the words imprinted on his fingers.

 

A simple greeting, much to his agony, was spelled out in a choppy, slanting font.

 

 _Almost like a kindergartener wrote it with crayons,_  He observed.

 _And do you know who you also met in kindergarten?_ His mind added helpfully.

 

Quit it. Oikawa told himself. Don't get your hopes up.

 

But it was true though. He had met his long-time secret crush, a.k.a., his childhood friend Iwaizumi, all the way back then.

It's such a long time ago, and the words on his hand were definitely First Words, and not an inside joke. Even if it really was Iwa-chan, how could either of them be able to remember what he first said to Oikawa?

 

And while he definitely wouldn't give up completely, Oikawa certainly could not let himself be let down too much in the end.

 

 

Very bitterly, Oikawa thought about just how much trouble it would have saved him if Iwaizumi had a slightly more informative cue, but things didn't work that way.

Iwaizumi, a month older with his birthday in June, had Words that were arguably worse than Oikawa's. In fact, Iwaizumi's Words didn't form a sentence.

 ** _Hi_** was literally what his Words were. The first thing Iwa-chan's soulmate had said to him was one simple little word.

 

There really was no hope for them was there? And to be honest, Oikawa really didn't feel like knowing the answer. At least if he didn't know it, there's still a chance right?

 

He's not exactly sure if he should laugh or feel sorry, considering the fact that he desperately wished that Iwaizumi's soulmate was himself. But he decided to tease his friend mercilessly about it. Dealt with his problems the same way he always did- laughed it off and secretly worked at it elsewhere, usually alone.

 

 

So here he was, sulking in his bedroom, looking at the glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling, torn between self-pity and denial. Pretty typical.

 

But brooding wasn't helping his restless mind. So when he couldn't stand the silence anymore, he grabbed his phone and typed a new message to his loyal consultant.

 

 -makki     _sent at 4:23 a.m.

 -makki     _sent at 4:23 a.m.

 _makkimakkimakkimakki     _sent at 4:24 a.m.

-What the f uck do you want?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!     _sent at 4:24 a.m.

-Fuk you Oikawa     _sent at 4:24 a.m.

-3 hrs on tumblr took energy you egg     _sent at 4:24 a.m.

 -weeeell then makkichan that's perfect!! youre still awake to listen to my problems ;))     _sent at 4:24 a.m.

-If youd talk about this problem of urs about 30 mins earlier Id been awake and would gkadly gave u help     _sent at 4:24 a.m.

-*gladly     _sent at 4:25 a.m.

 -riiip ha makki u spelled it wrong     _sent at 4:25 a.m.

-o shush bby face     _sent at 4:25 a.m.

 -r00d     _sent at 4:25 a.m.

\- ;)))     _sent at 4:25 a.m.

-hope u didnt wake me up for nothing      _sent at 4:25 a.m.

 -eeeeh put more faith in me makkki     _sent at 4:25 a.m.

 -makki u kno wut day it is tooday?????     _sent at 4:25 a.m.

-yaya it's ur 17 bday and you wake me up on a saturday morning to talk bout ur Words right?     _sent at 4:25 a.m.

 -so u dooo kno makki ^w^     _sent at 4:26 a.m.

 -weeell u kno how iwa-chan's word sucks     _sent at 4:26 a.m.

-lmao ye iwaizumi's Words were sad af     _sent at 4:26 a.m.

-oikawa     _sent at 4:30 a.m.  

-hellooo     _sent at 4:31

-oikawa dont tell me ur words r worse     _sent at 4:33 a.m.

 -thats so mean makkichan     _sent at 4:33 a.m.

-frick what is it     _sent at 4:33 a.m.

 -"It's nice to meet you"     _sent at 4:34 a.m.

-well isn't that just perfect oikawa     _sent at 4:35 a.m.

 -makki it's not very funny     _sent at 4:35 a.m.

-o but it is tho     _sent at 4:35 a.m.

-okok it isnt     _sent at 4:37 a.m.

 -how am I ever supposed to find my soulmate     _sent at 4:37 a.m.

 -I can't count how many people have said that to me     _sent at 4:37 a.m.

-wow isn't that a surprise there're people who are happy to meet you I bet theyre lying     _sent at 4:38 a.m.

-continue     _sent at 4:38 a.m.

 -ugh I have the worst Words evereverever     _sent at 4:38 a.m.

 -makki?     _sent at 4:40 a.m.

-ye I'm still here. Just thinking about when my mum said her classmate's Words are "Today's weather forecast shows a sunny day with a 15% chance of rain"     _sent at 4:41 a.m.

 -lord     _sent at 4:41 a.m.

-her friend checked all the weather forecasts for the past 17 years and had to kept track of the new ones to see who could possibly be her soulmate     _sent at 4:41 a.m.

-true determination right there     _sent at 4:41 a.m.

 -did she find her soulmate??!     _sent at 4:41 a.m.

-ye. see if she can find her soulmate with those words, you can with yours     _sent at 4:41 a.m.

 -thx makki that helped baibaii     _sent at 4:42 a.m.

-ur welcome bbyface     _sent at 4:42 a.m.

 

* * *

Although Makki's words did help, Oikawa was still anxious about the whole ordeal. After all, that lady whose Words were a weather forecast had somewhere to research it. How can you even check "It's nice to meet you"? 

But to be sure, if there were people with head-achingly generic Words so near him, there's gotta people with worse Words... right? 

 

 _Nah,_ Oikawa thought, _if someone has even worse Words than me or Hajime, than it's too unfortunate for them._

 

 

Monday comes around and the second he walked through the gym doors, he got a volleyball to his face. By none other than dear Iwaizumi.

 

"Dumbass. Don't think I forgot that your birthday was Saturday. You didn't reply any of the texts I sent you."

"Aww Iwa-chan remembers! Well I was so happy with my Words being better than yours that I partied till late last night! Sorry about not checking my phone."

 

Oikawa got a face of disgust for an answer.

"Oi, cut that crap. Are your Words bad to the point that you can't tell me about them? Because then your Words must be the worst ones in existence."

"Mean! Iwa-chan!"

 

 He'd hoped Iwaizumi would just leave it at that, but of course he didn't.

"So what are your Words?"

"It's nice to meet you", Oikawa whispered quickly, hoping to get this over with fast.

 

Iwaizumi promptly _snorted_ and gave a short laugh (which flustered Oikawa, but he's never going to admit that).

 

"Really? Oikawa-san, that's kind of sad."

Oikawa spun around so fast he swore he felt his neck pop. There stood Watari, who was obviously trying to hold back giggles.

"I thought Iwaizumi-san was unlucky, but yours is sort of just as bad."

"Oh shush, Watari!"

 

"What is just as bad? Watari?" Oikawa groaned as Yahaba joined the conversation with a knowing smirk on his face.

"Yahaba-chan please don't,"

"Yahaba, Oikawa-san's words are 'It's nice to meet you'."

 

At this point, Oikawa was half curled in on himself, with a small group of Seijoh's starting members around him. Soon, most of the volleyball team came to join the fun. Who didn't love some soulmate drama?

"Ugggh you guys! Just stop already" he whined. And so after a few more snickers were shared, the group scattered back to practice.

 

 

 

Sighing, Oikawa walked away to get some water and calm down.

He nearly tripped over someone's feet, and turned to apologize, but his paused when he saw a fidgety Kunimi who hurriedly gave a small bow.

 

Kunimi was acting a bit strange, Oikawa couldn't help but think.

 

Personally, Oikawa had a soft spot for Kunimi, and he's plenty sure that most of the team felt the same.

He'd met the younger boy back in Kitagawa Daiichi, and had been surprised to find that one of the newest additions to the team was mute. Admittedly, Oikawa was a little worried about how the team would work, but most of that concern was wiped away when he noticed how observant and aware Kunimi was of his surroundings.

 

Oikawa had been pretty delighted to have the boy on his team again, and although Kunimi was the complete opposite of social, it's usually fine.

 

However, right now, Kunimi seemed quite a bit uncomfortable, and his nonchalant demeanor was almost completely gone. He's picking at his fingers, and was about to rush away, but Oikawa wasn't about to let him. Whatever was bothering his team mate, Oikawa wanted to find out.

 

"Kunimi-chan, do you want to sit down for a bit with me?" It was not exactly a suggestion.

The boy warily took a seat next to Oikawa against the wall of the gymnasium, and fumbled out his phone.

 

"So, Kunimi-chan, I'll get straight to the point. I feel like you are acting a little nervous right now, but you seemed fine before all the guys started pestering me about the soulmate stuff. Is something wrong?"

It did not escape Oikawa's notice that the younger flinched at the word "soulmate".

 

Kunimi tapped a reply. -"It's not a big deal Oikawa-san"-

Oikawa thought about how he should approach next. This conversation was something Kunimi seemed to feel very private about.

 

"... Is this something you can comfortably tell Kindaichi? You guys know each other better than I do, that's for sure."

Kunimi stared, as if perplexed. But nevertheless, his reply negated the idea.

 

"Well, Kunimi-chan, I won't push on this subject further, but get me if you need anything?"

The boy still sat stiff, so Oikawa put down his water bottle and turned to leave. Though before he could, he felt something tug at his sleeve.

 

Kunimi was looking up, and had a hand holding onto the fabric of Oikawa's shirt. He lifted his phone, -"I think I'd like to ask you about something"-

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And suddenly, ... angst!! Kunimi is depressed and confused. Oikawa is shocked and confused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry that I can't update faster than I am!! School started a few days after I posted the first chapter and I'm kind of overwhelmed. I'll try to post about once a month though! BY THE WAY Kunimi talks about his insecurities a bit and I'm not sure if it hits too personally with any of you guys. Tell me any suggestions or comments~

As Kunimi stood up and bowed to thank him for listening, Oikawa could only manage a little nod of apprehension.

 

He had sat down after Kunimi showed him that he wanted to talk about something. Practice could wait a few minutes if his underclassman seemed so distressed.

Wasting no time at all, the younger boy started furiously typing on his keyboard. Oikawa just sat patiently and observed his team.

 

Oikawa always spent his time looking at the team. It's a habit, a good one in his opinion, but it's more than just for forming strategies. More than to win.

More than those things, Oikawa watched his team because at the exact point in time, this Seijoh team was the result of the hard work put in by every senpai ever on the team ( and he'd like to think himself, too ). They were a good team. The best, really, to Oikawa. Everyone understood each other almost completely, all of Seijoh worked as if they were a single unit. And he, as the captain, knew enough about his team mates to help them through anything. Volleyball, girlfriends, life.

 

He'd have probably reminisced even more, but Kunimi had slipped his phone into the captain's hand.

 

-"Oikawa-san, I've never told this thought of mine to anyone before, but it's been sitting inside of me ever since I fully understood how this soulmate system works. It's simple, really. A soulmate is your destined 'other half', a love matched by fate. The person you'll like spend your life with. And the thing that connects soulmates are the Words. They appear like magic when you turn 17, and it'll lead you to the right person. But I believe there is a single thing in this whole process that people take for granted."-

 

He wanted to discuss soulmates? The words held a tense air, and Oikawa frowned at the sense that this conversation might be a lot more serious than he had expected. He turned to raise an eyebrow, both to signal 'keep on going' and also to maybe lighten the mood a bit more.

Kunimi didn't wait a second longer. He typed as if his life depended on the speed at which he processed his thoughts. The keyboard sounded loudly in Oikawa's mind, an accompaniment for his own thinking.

 

Something about soulmates got Kunimi so depressed, what could it be?

Was it some weird trauma Kunimi might have experienced with soulmates?

Did something disastrous happen recently? Or was it just the strange existential crisis that came with adolescence?

 

Oikawa almost groaned at the fact that he didn't know what could be going on.

 

 

Once again, the third year felt the cool feeling of metal as Kunimi set his phone down in Oikawa's hand.

 

-"Soulmates are bonded together by Words--First Words, Inside jokes, or rarer, Last Words and Onomonopeias. But whichever one, the single similarity is that those Words can all be heard. Spoken. The one thing almost everyone seems to be able to do. Not me though. I can barely make a sound."-

 

 

Oikawa whipped his head up to see Kunimi as downcast as any highschooler could possibly be. And the worst thing was, Oikawa had no idea what to do. How could you tell him "it's fine" or "that doesn't matter" or some other admittedly well-meant, but horribly false words when Kunimi was the one having to live through it? 

 

Kunimi had already taken the phone again, and was typing something with eyes full of tears. He tossed the phone at Oikawa and bent down to hide his face.

 

-"Really though. Apparently everyone's supposed to 'belong' and is 'of use' to the world, but what good am I? I can't even communicate without a phone or paper and pencil. I guess sign language too, but not everyone is gonna bother. What if my soulmate doesn't speak Japanese? I'd do something about the language back but what's the point if I can't speak? And if my destined soulmate doesn't get Words on their 17th birthday, what will they think? What will the people around them think? They would think there's some kind of problem with them but they'd be wrong cuz they're not the ones with a problem I am."-

 

Freaking Tooru you are a horrible person. Narcissistic and dumb and inobservant. 

God, why didn't he sense that Kunimi was so self-depreciating and worried about something that wasn't even his fault? And although Oikawa knew of couples with disabilities, how was saying that gonna be of help anyway?

Oikawa didn't know what to do. Hug the boy? Tell Kunimi some kind of cringey sweet lie? He wished Iwaizumi was here instead of him right now. Iwa-chan would know what to do.

 

Horrible Tooru. Worrying about soulmates when you had it so much better.

 

He opted to give Kunimi a pat on the shoulder instead, and tried to ( he really didn't know anymore ) express his appreciation? understanding? through the gesture.

 

Oikawa wanted to bash himself on the head for everything Kunimi was not realizing. Kunimi didn't realize how much potential he had with his quick thinking and tall build and keen observation. The boy was very caring as well, although truthfully, he didn't often show it outwardly. He was willing to work hard, never skipped practice, contributed to the best of his abilities. The first year's also a much-valued part of the team, too!

Why couldn't he see that?!

 

Well alright. Fine. Oikawa wouldn't argue that he himself was pretty darn lacking some self-appreciation. But it's different when it's Kunimi. The underclassman could only see the faults that his disability brought, but not his other, greater attributes.

 

* * *

 

The conversation ended there, with Kunimi looking a bit better, and Oikawa a lot worse.

The younger one had bowed and ran back to practice.

 

Although Oikawa had soon gone back to serving practice that day, and the going over of new techniques, the thought of Kunimi's insecurity haunted him for the rest of the week.

 

Just in the Miyagi region, there were a lot more than just Kunimi that had some sort of physical disadvantage. Did those people all think the way Kunimi did? Or not? Oikawa knew he for sure was gonna just drown in all these overbearing thoughts one day.

How easy he had it compared to all these people, how could he complain about his Words when they were worrying about much more?

 

Oikawa was damn sure that thinking about all of this was terrible when it's partnered with your school counselor talking about career and college everyday, and cramming for exams, and third years laughing and crying in the halls as they find their soulmates.

Nope, not a good combination at all.

 

So was trying to think of how to help your underclassman feel better, but by the looks of it, Kunimi was feeling much more positive than Oikawa at the moment. 

 

 

"Agggh. I'm beat. I hope this isn't messing with Kunimi's sanity as much as it is with mine. Fuck."

 

He grabbed his pillow and breathed in the scent and wondered.

 

Oikawa wondered what it was like to not be able to talk when he wanted to.

How could he tell his mother good morning? Or complain about how loud her sister's cheesy drama was at 2am?

 

Shout "Iwa-chan!" from across the court? ( or confess? )

 

"Fuck," thought Oikawa.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ya. Oops.
> 
> A big thank you to the ones who liked and commented the first chapter! You guys don't know how happy I got when I saw them because this is my first work on ao3 :'3. Thank you thank you thank you X3!!
> 
> ( I scrEm when I saw the first few kudos and comments my mum nearly freaked )


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